the pain of a betrayal

at a time like this, i cant help but wonder what went wrong. it is true when they say that nothing in life is constant but change.

wherever life brings me, i will remind myself to hold on to this lesson that i should have learnt long ago. to not let myself in so deep that i cant help but feel every inch and morsel of the pain that a betrayal brings. should have known that it was too good to be true. that this friendship, relationship cannot last forever


there is nothing that feels worst than a betrayal. whether it is a partner, friend, parents or your leaders. there is nothing that justifies what you did and i hope all heaven will pay you dearly for it.

to say that i do not hurt would not be true. there is a part of me which seeks an answer to the cause. and yet my gut says that there is no point in explaining.

its not like i havent been here before?!. and yet i hurt. now i can only lament to myself how i have let myself go and fall so deeply. i should look at my scars daily to remind myself that nothing, absolutely nothing so good can last beyond the superficial. when you do not open your heart, you do not get hurt. that is a fact. it might not be a solution but at least it shields me from the pain somewhat.

with just one action, the thousands of words spoken is so quickly undone.

a rope with three cords is not easily broken. but the fact remains that it will surely break if you run a sharp knife through it. i am sure whoever thought of this proverb knew the pain of betrayal.

i can never bring myself to be the betrayer, because deep down, i am just a big ol' softie for all the toughness that i show on the outside.

right now at 3.50PM, somewhere in the universe, i am not ready to forgive and forget. i only want to forget this ever happened and curl up in a corner and lick my battle wounds. therefore, i will not write a conclusion of hope and renewed strength. 

right now, i feel tired and exhausted. i dont even have the strength to be angry anymore. so take your lies and reasons with you and i hope to never see you again.